Well, I can’t sleep … One reason is that I’m feeling quite terrible with a burning forehead right now. The other reason is that I used to be like that for long enough so that it has been turned into kinda a habit.
I promise I’ll go back to bed after a few minutes. But right now I just want to write something which has just popped up in my mind – I want to write something about the unconditional love.
Well, many people spend time and effort try to prove that there’s no free lunch. I remember some of my teachers emphasized that even the parents’ love towards their children is formed with a certain purpose. I don’t know. I haven’t lived long enough to give a firm personal remark. Nor am I experienced enough to judge. I just want to say something, barely my feelings about this.
It would be so wonderful if you’re surrounded with some unconditional love. It’s the most magical thing on earth. I haven’t seen much of this kind. But at least I believe that what my parents give me could be called unconditional love. They don’t expect my sisters and I grow up, do something to make them proud and take care of them when they get old. They just love us, give us the best they could, wish us the best and watch over us no matter where we go. I remember how daddy devoted his effort to give me a comfortable appartment to live. I remember how hard he worked with the wallpapers, the bathroom, the kitchen …, well, every single corner of my new appartment to make it convenient, clean and safe. I remember how mom prepared all kinds of food for me whenever I left home for Hanoi. I remember how worry she sounded on the phone when she knew I was sick again. I’m so happy to be loved unconditionally just like that.
Have I ever loved someone unconditionally? Yes. I love my sisters just like that. I’m terribly selfish and mean, I have to accept so. But which could be more an unconditional love when that selfish and mean girl spent all her time to help her sister study for university entrance examination, without any purposes in her mind but a strong hope that her sister would have a better future for herself. I still remember how nervous I was that time, how I spent some nights wide-awakedly rolling in my bed worrying about her, how bitterly I cried when she just let me down in one way or another. What I know from this is that when you live with an unconditional love, you forget all the complicated and stupid stuffs bothering your everyday life and become stronger than ever. It’s such a pleasure when you see someone you love lives happily, even when they don’t know how hard you’ve tried to help them to reach that happiness.
I don’t know if it works for love between man and woman. I haven’t loved any guys uncondtionally. Well, I’m quite afraid to be honest. I read, saw with my own eyes and heard so many sad stories about girls who ruined their life because of a blind love. When I was a little bit younger than now, I disgusted those girl for their blindness and foolishness. But now, well, I feel sorry for them, and even sympathize to some extent. We could call their love blind, we could judge their decision foolish or whatever. But have you ever thought that it’s so brave, it’s so strong and it’s so admirable for someone to live whole-heartedly, to take risk and to sacrifice their own happiness and their secure for an unconditional love. Of course, blind love is till blind love. Blind love is absolutely different from a pure unconditional love. Blind love is recklessly rushed for something bad, something we haven’t fully understood, something which doesn’t really have a good future. Unconditional love is the love of people who fully understand their actions, who can control their heart, who know something about this life from their personal perspective and with all their rational parts, they are willing to sacrifice for the happiness of someone.
I suddenly remember an article which has recently been widely shared on facebook, the one about marriage and love, I don’t know for sure. Well, to be honest, I didn’t like that article from some very first lines, when the author accused artists who praised unconditonal love abnormal, mad and totally dumb. I agree that everybody has to love himself first before you could show your care and love to any other human-beings and tracing unexisted romantic things is totally pathetic. However, being totally against an uncondtional love is something, I think, even worse than a crime. Think it over, how horrible this life would become if everybody turns themself into a monster who is controlled by his selfishness and arrogance. Love is a heaven-made emotion that seperates we human from any other kinds of animal. Acting on your own benefits, well, it’s your wildest respond to nature call. It’s only when you’re willing to love without any requirements for a totally-worth-it returns that you climb up the ladder of life to bathe yourself in the light of salvation.
Ok, I agree that I’m quite young and inexperienced to talk about all of this. My father is always worry about me and my lack-of-living-skill actions and my taking-from-book-only wisdom. Daddy, I will be fine. I’ll step out there and I’ll learn a lot. Maybe I’ll make mistake, maybe I’ll lose my way in some parts of my life. But please trust me that no matter how terrible my life would turn out to be, I’ll be strong and I’ll always be positive. Because during my previous 21 years, I was brought up by 2 amazing people who didn’t try to form me into some kinds of cold-mindedly rational creature, who appreciated and encouraged me to be whatever I want to be and most of all, who showed me that love and belief could brought me far in their heaven wings.
Do anybody know a quote from Les miserables epilogue: “To love another person is to see the face of god …”?