Cold as you, pathetic as me

Cold as you, pathetic as me

 

I spend sometimes trying to figure out your heart

Which still remains a huge yet attractive secret to me

I fail as usual but at least I see

There’s no place as cold as you on whole universe

You don’t care that what you say might hurt

You don’t mind my lingering in the staircase just to wait for you

You don’t know that borrowing your stuffs is only another stupid excuse

For me to catch a glimpse of your endearing sweet face

 

You’re a bad idea, just like all of my friends said

And they all told me: “How pathetic you are!”

I’m not good enough for you, I know that, dear Mars

And yes, there’s no one as pathetic as me on the whole universe

I help you in your relationship with another girl though I know it hurts

I pretend to tie my shoelace for fifteen minutes to see you in the staircase

I borrow some of your books even when I already have

My poor heart jumps when you say hello then drive away in a minute

 

Everybody says you’re so cold and I’m way too pathetic

I ignore them, ‘cause they don’t know you as much as I do

They haven’t seen how cool you’re in your basketball shoes

They haven’t known how smart you’re fixing my telescope

They haven’t listened to your playing guitar and singing “Sometimes when we touch”

They haven’t spent time doing-nothing-but-talking with you in a rainy quiet afternoon

You’re the first one who told me that we could never see the dark side of the moon

I never see your dark side either though I’ve tried so hard

 

This is the story about the flawless Mars and the poor little Venus

No one is as cold as him and no one is as pathetic as her

How the story ends, well, it’s still in a blur …

 

-T.H-

Two directions of us

Two directions of us

 

I’m looking for you among a sea of people

I’m waiting for you in a crowded boulevard – The boulevard of love

I’m hoping to catch a glimpse of your endearing and sweet face

My footstep is wondering – which direction should I go?

 

Should I take one more step closer to you?

Should I ignore all the glass walls in between to wildly follow my heart?

Should I pretend not to see any faceless phantoms in your past?

Should I wrap my love with a yellow ribbon and fearlessly send it to you?

 

Should I turn my back to walk away just like there’s someone new?

Hoping you will miss me when one day your life unexpectedly turns dark?

Have you ever realized

I’m the one who paints you rainbow and to you I always whisper a good luck?

If you have feeling for me, would you cast your pride aside and never let me go?

 

But what would happen if no matter which direction that I choose

You’ll always pick an opposite one and in the boulevard of love we’ll never meet?

I’ll see a million faces in this crowded, long and windy street

Just like you do, I still whisper a good luck to you …

Hope it’s nice where you are with the sky so blue …

 

-T.H-

Autumn’s chill, September’s blues

Autumn’s chill, September’s blues

The autumn’s chill and the September’s blues

Going hand in hand to worsen the seasonal bad mood

The autumn’s chill is cold enough to freeze a little delicate heart

The September’s blues is strong enough for someone sensitive to set some tears

When you feel the Autumn’s chill, September’s blues must be near

Just like September’s blues sprinkle the Autumn’s chill with its invisible footsteps

 

She opens her favorite book to find the last year’s special autumn yellow leaf

Which whispers to her the sad-yet-beautiful story she hides deep and secretly memorizes

The story began in a typical September night

When the autumn’s chill was subtle and everybody could hardly feel it

But the story ended with the September’s blues running so deep

That it still lingers somewhere in her heart today …

 

Autumn’s chill, September’s blues: two faces of one coin?

 

-T.H-

The puzzle forever unsolved

The puzzle forever unsolved

 

You’re the puzzle forever unsolved

You’re the mystery forever buried deep

You’re the problem I can never get

You’re the shadow of all the darkness to me

 

If only I was mature enough to see

What you hide in your sad brown eyes so deep

If only I was a little bit more sensitive

To feel the faintest vibrations of your pretty soul

 

The truth is I’m only a wide-eyed and unrealistic little girl

Like a soft and scentless breeze, I silently walk past you with an invisible touch

You’re the sailor among the borderless blue sea with all the stormy gusts

While I’m the soft continent wind who came offshore only to disappear …

 

From an autumn wind with her deepest and darkest fear …

 

-T.H-

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

 

I understand how you feel so good about yourself

And how you blind yourself with the thought you’re the center of the universe

But it doesn’t mean you can cruelly use your evil curse

To cast a dark and heavy shadow to cloud up my sky

 

Who do you think you are, the police of mind?

No, I am the only one who could have the right to control my thoughts

I will never ever let anyone poke their nose to judge

Especially someone whiny and gossip like you

 

Who do you think you are, an expert to-name-but-a-few?

Excuse me dear, but the world is totally different for anyone of us

Your I-know-everything monologues somehow proved you’re only a jerk

That definitely does not have any single stupid power to mess up my life

 

Who do you think you are, the one who is born-to-shine?

Wake up and smell the coffee, ’cause you’re not more special than any other creatures on earth

Take a serious look at yourself and find a way to mend your selfish heart

Why don’t you see the good side of any people or stuffs out there?

 

I don’t hate you, though you treated me so bad my dear

Actually I feel sorry for you and for your arrogant, stupid, vapid head

Don’t you know what you think important now is someday totally useless?

So please take my words into consideration: Who do you think you are?

 

-T.H-

I hate you to the moon and back

I hate you to the moon and back

 

This is for Dark Witch, the most evil witch

The one who spreads fear, sadness and pain

There’s nothing on earth that could make her change

She’s so bad, ugly, mean and heartless

 

Hey Dark Witch thanks to your evil curse

I have lost my way to happiness and peace

You’ve aroused my worst and darkest fear

You’ve ruined my life when I’ve just seen some lights in it

 

Anyway you’re only a witch

Who flies around in a torn and stupid broom

You will be forever, forever alone

No one will love you, I’m so sure about that

I believe one day loneliness will drive you mad

And you’ll realize that you need someone

But my baby, it has all been said and done

You deserve it, for terrible things you did

 

I’ll be fine, someone told me how to solve the curse

Keeping my faith, that’s all I need to do

So I won’t ever give a damn about you

I hate you to the moon and back! >”<

 

-T.H-

An unconditional love

Well, I can’t sleep … One reason is that I’m feeling quite terrible with a burning forehead right now. The other reason is that I used to be like that for long enough so that it has been turned into kinda a habit.

I promise I’ll go back to bed after a few minutes. But right now I just want to write something which has just popped up in my mind – I want to write something about the unconditional love.

Well, many people spend time and effort try to prove that there’s no free lunch. I remember some of my teachers emphasized that even the parents’ love towards their children is formed with a certain purpose. I don’t know. I haven’t lived long enough to give a firm personal remark. Nor am I experienced enough to judge. I just want to say something, barely my feelings about this.

It would be so wonderful if you’re surrounded with some unconditional love. It’s the most magical thing on earth. I haven’t seen much of this kind. But at least I believe that what my parents give me could be called unconditional love. They don’t expect my sisters and I grow up, do something to make them proud and take care of them when they get old. They just love us, give us the best they could, wish us the best and watch over us no matter where we go. I remember how daddy devoted his effort to give me  a comfortable appartment to live. I remember how hard he worked with the wallpapers, the bathroom, the kitchen …, well, every single corner of my new appartment to make it convenient, clean and safe. I remember how mom prepared all kinds of food for me whenever I left home for Hanoi. I remember how worry she sounded on the phone when she knew I was sick again. I’m so happy to be loved unconditionally just like that.

Have I ever loved someone unconditionally? Yes. I love my sisters just like that. I’m terribly selfish and mean, I have to accept so. But which could be more an unconditional love when that selfish and mean girl spent all her time to help her sister study for university entrance examination, without any purposes in her mind but a strong hope that her sister would have a better future for herself. I still remember how nervous I was that time, how I spent some nights wide-awakedly rolling in my bed worrying about her, how bitterly I cried when she just let me down in one way or another. What I know from this is that when you live with an unconditional love, you forget all the complicated and stupid stuffs bothering your everyday life and become stronger than ever. It’s such a pleasure when you see someone you love lives happily, even when they don’t know how hard you’ve tried to help them to reach that happiness.

I don’t know if it works for love between man and woman. I haven’t loved any guys uncondtionally. Well, I’m quite afraid to be honest. I read, saw with my own eyes and heard so many sad stories about girls who ruined their life because of a blind love. When I was a little bit younger than now, I disgusted those girl for their blindness and foolishness. But now, well, I feel sorry for them, and even sympathize to some extent. We could call their love blind, we could judge their decision foolish or whatever. But have you ever thought that it’s so brave, it’s so strong and it’s so admirable for someone to live whole-heartedly, to take risk and to sacrifice their own happiness and their secure for an unconditional love. Of course, blind love is till blind love. Blind love is absolutely different from a pure unconditional love. Blind love is recklessly rushed for something bad, something we haven’t fully understood, something which doesn’t really have a good future. Unconditional love is the love of people who fully understand their actions, who can control their heart, who know something about this life from their personal perspective and with all their rational parts, they are willing to sacrifice for the happiness of someone.

I suddenly remember an article which has recently been widely shared on facebook, the one about marriage and love, I don’t know for sure. Well, to be honest, I didn’t like that article from some very first lines, when the author accused artists who praised unconditonal love abnormal, mad and totally dumb. I agree that everybody has to love himself first before you could show your care and love to any other human-beings and tracing unexisted romantic things is totally pathetic. However, being totally against an uncondtional love is something, I think, even worse than a crime. Think it over, how horrible this life would become if everybody turns themself into a monster who is controlled by his selfishness and arrogance. Love is a heaven-made emotion that seperates we human from any other kinds of animal. Acting on your own benefits, well, it’s your wildest respond to nature call. It’s only when you’re willing to love without any requirements for a totally-worth-it returns that you climb up the ladder of life to bathe yourself in the light of salvation.

Ok, I agree that I’m quite young and inexperienced to talk about all of this. My father is always worry about me and my lack-of-living-skill actions and my taking-from-book-only wisdom. Daddy, I will be fine. I’ll step out there and I’ll learn a lot. Maybe I’ll make mistake, maybe I’ll lose my way in some parts of my life. But please trust me that no matter how terrible my life would turn out to be, I’ll be strong and I’ll always be positive. Because during my previous 21 years, I was brought up by 2 amazing people who didn’t try to form me into some kinds of cold-mindedly rational creature, who appreciated and encouraged me to be whatever I want to be and most of all, who showed me that love and belief could brought me far in their heaven wings.

Do anybody know a quote from Les miserables epilogue: “To love another person is to see the face of god …”?